There's a broken heart

despite it not being mine, it's there. There's a broken heart that exists and it belongs to someone that exists. It hurts every single day. It hurts in more ways than one. They have to go about their days pretending nothing is wrong. But everything continues to be wrong. They do what they shouldn't because nothing else makes it better. Better isn't what it inevitably makes it though.
That's just one of my worries.

There's an attachment that's required, a sort of rope that you hang from that connects you to the world. It's sort of like what it would feel like if there were no gravity and if you were connected to the ground in just that one aspect. That rope is not a rope for me. It's a piece of string and I don't know how else to explain it. My thoughts wander, I see people over and over again, the same people every day. I don't know anyone's name, I don't know anyone's thoughts but my own, I walk I see I hear. All of these purely physiological aspects of walking and seeing and hearing. I'm disconnected.
It's exactly what I knew would happen.
I just didn't know I would go down this fast and this hard.

That's another one of my worries.