where have I gone,

Stressing and stressing the facts tightens the line and makes it snap. Choking on the comforters we sleep on, lacking all the trees we need to breathe with, falling overhead before the bed- the nudity of hiding in our heads. I used to close my eyes and hold myself to sanctify the meaning of my skin. To purify what I had given him, to scratch off all the residue of sin. Where are you now? Do you lay on the sand with black rocks in your hand, flipping them over again and again? That's what it was, I sank deeper because of what all rain that runs cold, quick, and thoroughly does.
I've been lied to enough to know how warm the words are.
I've been tied to this stuff ever since you gave me reason to run far.
I have cried enough times to know how wanting to drown in the salt feels.
I don't try anymore, I'm depressed, it's impressive what love deals.

I'm done, I'm always done.