The abhorrence

Today:

The wind was upset. Who knows why but at the trees and the sand and everything else that found itself dangling on a string this morning. I went outside, then back inside, got my jacket, and went outside again. I stood at the bus stop kicking at rocks under my feet. I made fans by pressing my boot down into the dirt and pushing everything left and right. I guess I had nothing better to do than wait. On the bus, I wondered if it'd be better to stand so that newer passengers may have an opportunity to sit. I pushed the thought left and right the way I pushed the rocks, except my boot was not present at the time. Before I came to a conclusion to this issue, the bus stopped, the doors opened and I was outside again.
Fast Forward
Oh, hello theater bathroom we meet again. I lock myself inside you just to breathe and count the green tiles. I lock myself inside you just to close my eyes and think about what should have been. There is nothing else to explain my behavior. Everything comes out too fast. Exhaling inhaling the tears and the uncommunicative sobs and bursts of mumbles. I run my fingers through my hair to ascertain that yes, I have fingers and yes, I have hair. A few more months and I'll be in college. A few more months and I'll be...

Will, I really be okay?

Sh, I think I'm going crazy.