11/11

i've had goosebumps for the past 3minutes
after you called and all I could think about
was some sort of slim chance that
maybe everything will work itself out in the end
I try to clear my mind and just think about
things that can actually happen,
I'm sick and tired of my dreams
but I always have that thought
-the one you permanently stuck in my head

lie

and be lied to

they say

i shouldn't worry
that i'll find someone new
but i don't want that person
because all I want is you
but you say you don't need me
and that's what breaks my heart
because the fact that you needed me
was the very best part

<3

i want him to

i want him to call me
to just talk to me
and take away my loneliness
to ask me how i am
and call me his wittle gumdrop
to make me smile
and make me laugh
and remind me of why i love him so much
but he never does.
it never happens.
and im left here by myself
saying over and over again
how much it's worth the effort to be with him
and how much I love him.
:/

morning

is somewhat cold, chilly, lonely
and I see him,
dissolving warmth within him
and I realize,
(I'm so scared to realize)
that my life is morning without him

young children

do not speak much,
they listen
perhaps they are not so young
after all?

i feel

the ugliest when i
feel
the most disappointing

i write

the most when i feel
the most

What is What

we continue living,
except our future's mistake
and our past's doubts of what is to come?
Desperate for a now,
we become that day of mistake
and doubt,
that everything leads to the
unreality of the present
I just don't know where I am, right now.